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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24681523">To Protect, To Defend</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary'>obviouslyelementary</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Advice, Family, Friendship, Gen, Insecure Riker, Insecurity, Mild Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:13:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24681523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Riker is a fighter, a defender, a protector. But he isn't feeling like he is helping anyone at all. </p><p>Maybe he is just... useless.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Crew of the Starship Enterprise &amp; William Riker, Data &amp; William Riker, William Riker &amp; Deanna Troi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Protect, To Defend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm soft for Riker don't @ me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Riker was a fighter, but he was also a protector. He was used to always have someone to defend, to stand up for, to protect, and sometimes, that feeling came too hard and took over him, even if it was irrational, in a way. Before the Enterprise, it was easy to defend his crew, they were all nervous, gentle, not used with danger like he was. But now, this instinct of his was turning into more of a nuance than something useful.</p><p>Because it wasn't easy to protect a Klingon that was taller than him, stronger than him, and whose sole propose was to protect the entire crew, including Riker himself. It was hard to defend a Betazoid who simply knew whenever real danger was present, and easily bossed him around like she knew everything, even his deepest insecurities. It was impossible to defend an android who, simply, did not feel pain, had no emotions and in a way could not be severely injured or killed in most combats. It was though to protect an engineer who barely never left his post, and not only that but could see threats from a parsec away with his heightened vision. It was punishing to try and defend a chief medical officer, who always seemed to know the best answers to all the situations, and still somehow treated him as a child that wouldn't listen. And it was especially arduous to protect the captain, when he could simply order Riker to be quiet and 'chill out'.</p><p>To put it simply, Riker was slowly feeling like he was pretty much useless, not in official duties, but in his personal duties, as a human being with desires and a distinct protective personality.</p><p>It was hard for him, to be unable to defend the people he loved, and nothing seemed to make it easier. He felt himself deflating, specially when he was one of the personal that would usually be defended in situations of extreme risk.</p><p>In the last three months, he could count at least ten times when one of his officers and friends had to protect him during a mission or after he acquired some form of disease or wound, while he couldn't think of a single time he assisted one of them for similar problems.</p><p>Riker was growing weak, and that was eating him up inside.</p><p> </p><p>Calm days like this, when they simply had to visit two planets for taking and leaving cargo, should be days where he took time to be at the holodeck, or even do some of his favorite activities to relax his mind a bit from duty, but in the last few weeks he hadn't been able to do anything but work. Somehow in his mind, working made a simple connection of usefulness that he wasn't being able to fulfil out of his duties, so he focused entirely on being the best First Officer the Enterprise had ever seen.</p><p>But that did not mean that his friends and officers didn’t notice his strange actions.</p><p>When the sound of his door rang, Will looked up from the pad he was checking and told whoever was outside to come in. Deanna walked inside, her usual smile fond and calm, and Will looked at her with a small smile forming on his face, specially when she sat down next to him.</p><p>"Busy?" she asked, looking at his pad, which he placed on the desk.</p><p>"No, not really. Just doing a check on our current cargo" he said, tilting his head. "Did you come here to question me or just to hang out?"</p><p>"Well, a little bit of both. You know I can't detach myself from my job that easily, as can't you" she said, reaching out and holding his hand. "To be honest Will, I came here to ask you a question."</p><p>"Oh no, counselor Troi strikes again" he teased, chuckling softly as she giggled. "Sure Dee, go ahead."</p><p>"Well, some of our closest friends, me included, have been noticing some strange behavior coming from you Will" she said, playing with his hand, while he watched her, trying not to think or feel anything so she wouldn't be able to just read him. Will was sure it was not working, but hey, he was trying. "I just came to ask if there is anything wrong. Anything you would like to talk about."</p><p>"Well Dee, you know me. Worries of a First Officer usually rub off to the crew, even if they don't know what's going on" he said, trying to chuckle and act calm so she wouldn't pick up his true feelings. "Honestly though I'm fine. It's just usual work stress that's all. You know how that's like."</p><p>"That... is not what I feel, but I will allow you to come to terms with your own feelings and come talk to me when you're ready" she said, squeezing his hand, and he felt both offended and relieved. "Whatever it is Will, we are your friends. You can talk to us whenever you like, about anything."</p><p>"I know Deanna" he said, smiling and caressing her hand. "Thank you."</p><p>She smiled and after a short talk, left his room, allowing him to be alone again.</p><p>And by the stars how humiliating it felt, to be questioned like that.</p><p> </p><p>Riker was afraid that after that talk with Deanna, his friends would make a subtle line to come and talk to him about his feelings, about how strange he was acting and all that, as they usually did, but they didn't. Geordi, Worf, even Beverly treated him the same, as if they didn't even know about Deanna's concern. Maybe they hadn't caught on, maybe they didn't agree, whichever was the case, Riker was thankful.</p><p>He didn't want anyone coming and telling him how strange he was acting.</p><p>A few days after his talk with Deanna, as they approached the planet which they would deliver their cargo, William was resting in his quarters when someone stood in front of them. He told them to come inside, and to his surprise, Data was the one that entered, looking at William as he sat by his desk.</p><p>"Mr. Data! Come inside, have a seat" he said, offering the chair next to him, and Data did as he said, walking inside and sitting next to Riker. "How can I help you?"</p><p>"Commander I have a question" he said, and Will straightened up on his chair. "However, due to my analyzes over other conversations I have had in the past few days, I am 90% sure that you will be offended by it. So I am unsure if I should ask it or not."</p><p>"Well, you will only know if you ask" Will said, smiling, and Data tilted his head. "Yes Data, go ahead. I'll try not to be offended."</p><p>"Very well" Data said, turning his body towards William. "My question is as follows. Are you feeling impotent, or rather, having disqualifying thoughts about yourself due to your inability to, as counselor Troi put it, 'protect' us?"</p><p>William had to take a moment to understand the question at first, because sometimes Data just didn't make any sense to him. After he did, though, he felt offended, just like Data said he would, and he tensed up, ready to tell the officer to leave. But then, he gathered himself, took a deep breath and sighed.</p><p>"You were right, I am offended" he said, chuckling, and Data's eyes widened.</p><p>"I did not mean to offend sir. I withdrawal my question" he said, in a way that would seem worried if Data could show human emotion. But Will shook his head and lifted his hand.</p><p>"No, Data, you don't have to" he said, standing up and sighing. "Truth is, yes, I am feeling impotent and disqualified."</p><p>"I see. So Deanna was right" he said, and Will turned to look at him, knowing he didn't have to ask for the android to continue. "She explained to us your psychological type, and the typical responses which this type offers in trying times. She also suggested that due to most of our team's inability to suffer consequential damage, you would be feeling useless, due to your actions not serving any effect to bring us comfort. Furthermore, she also said that due to your constant sicknesses and wounds, that could also aggravate the feeling of disqualification, since we would be the one caring for you, and not the other way around" he added, looking at William with what could only be described as child-like wonder. "Fascinating indeed."</p><p>"I don't see anything fascinating about it" Riker said, with a bit more harshness than he wished, before he sighed and looked out of the room's window, into the stars. "Sorry. I... am not used with being the weakest in the crew that is all."</p><p>"You are not the weakest in our crew commander. In fact-"</p><p>"I know Data, I know" he sighed and turned to look at the confused android. "What I mean is... none of you ever seem to need my assistance. Not in an officer sense, in a friend sense. I am used with protecting and defending my friends, but none of you need any... protecting. Or defending. You all can be extremely efficient on your own."</p><p>"Sorry to be this blunt with you commander, but I believe you could not be further away from the truth" Data said, and Will looked at him surprised. "From what I have heard and discussed with our friends, not only you are a great protector, but you also do not seem to realize it. In fact, doctor Crusher's hypothesis is that you are so used with physically defending other people that you do not take in mind the emotional and mental ways you have been defending us all along."</p><p>"... could you provide me with some examples, Data?" Riker asked, curious, sitting next to him again, and Data nodded.</p><p>"Of course. Geordi reported that out of all the officers he has served under before, you are the only one that never doubted his ability in engineering due to his blindness and usage of visor, and even defended him in multiple occasions when other officers did, in fact, doubt his skills. Lieutenant Worf reported that despite being the first and only Klingon officer in Star Fleet at this time, he feels like you are the only human that truly understands him, and despite of causing fears in others, you never feared him or disrespected him in any way. Beverly and Deanna reported similar events, on which you were there to comfort and console them whenever they felt in emotional pain due to some happening with the crew, their children or anything futile. And while the captain was not in our conversation group, Deanna assured he has never felt more confident than he feels serving next to you" he said, and Will felt himself slowly getting calmer, and less frustrated. Somehow, this whole talk was serving for... something.</p><p>"What about you?" he asked, curious, and Data tilted his head.</p><p>"I have no need to be physically, emotionally or mentally defended, protected or comforted. I do not feel anything. However I have noticed that you are one of the few officers that treats me as if I was a human being, touching me without hesitation, and displaying affection even if I will not correspond" he said, and Will was unable to hold back his chuckle, nodding and tapping Data on the shoulder.</p><p>"You're right. You're like a little brother to me."</p><p>"Little brother sir?" he asked, confused, and Will shook his head.</p><p>"Another time Data... but thank you. I know the others told you to come here and talk to me but... thank you anyway."</p><p>"They did not sir. In fact they advised me to stay away from you and allow you to come to these conclusions on your own" Data said, and Will raised his eyebrow at him. "I, however, believed you needed some assistance."</p><p>"You, helping me solve a human problem?" he asked, surprised and content, and Data smiled at him, giving him a short nod.</p><p>"I hope I was able to assist."</p><p>"Yeah Data... you were. Thank you."</p><p>"You are welcome."</p><p>Data then left his quarters, and William looked at the window again, watching the stars going by as he allowed his thoughts to wonder a bit.</p><p>Maybe he was a bit too used with being brute and physically protective, and payed no attention to how close he was to his friends.</p><p>Yeah. Maybe he wasn't so useless after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and Comments (and ideas) are appreciated and valid.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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